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It takes us out of our heads and into our bodies. We go from thinking to feeling. Just like when we have an accident, our body releases chemicals that make us feel better but this doesn’t last long, and so the cycle begins.
I don’t believe self-harm is ever done for attention. There are painful emotions beneath the surface that we don’t understand or have the tools to deal with. And so we find our own way. What we really need is for someone to hear us, to accept where we are at and to help us understand our feelings. We need to find the need that is not being met. And then we can begin to explore other ways of moving forward.  I spent yesterday at a workshop learning about embodiment, a technique we can use to connect with our bodies. Through the body, we can know ourselves more deeply, change our state, stop being victims and connect with others and the world.
I’ve done similar work before and I was nervous – because ten years ago, I found it really hard. I was shut down and disconnected. Experience had taught me that was the safe way to be. I couldn’t hold eye contact – forcing it felt like torture, I couldn’t handle being seen. But something told me to try again, so off I went at 5:30am to drive the 100-odd miles from Brighton to Somerset to attend this workshop. And what I learnt was not what I expected! Yes, I discovered things I can do to increase my range, like connecting with my fiery side. I was recommended to try martial arts 😬! More than that, the person I saw yesterday was not one I would have recognised ten years ago. My favourite part of the day was coming face-to-face with people I’d never met – men and women of all ages – and connecting through the eyes. It felt beautiful, calm and so natural – I loved it. If the eyes are the window to the soul, then this is a window I could stare dreamily through all day. Which isn’t very practical, but it’s a nice idea. The contrast with ten years ago is stark. I’ve done a lot to get here and I didn’t realise how much difference it has all made until I felt it in my body yesterday. The reason I’m sharing it is to encourage you and tell you that you, too can overcome thing that feel hard. It is entirely possible to change your xperiance if you put your mind – and body – to it and allow it to happen when you are ready. Don’t ever let anyone tell you it’s not.  I treated myself to a coffee on the beach this morning in between the school run and rain showers and work. I’ve been alive for 45 years today - that’s just over halfway if I'm the UK average. While I was sitting here, I realised something big. There's nothing that I want or need right now that I don’t already have. Wow. A decade ago, I could not have imagined saying that. When my life started to unravel in my twenties, I wanted answers and I set out to find them. This is the result. I know myself deeply and I take full responsibility for what happens in my life - the good stuff and the less good. I've learnt a heap about what it is to be human and the impact we have on each other and the world. Lovely, messy humans. So when they say happiness isn’t something you find out there – it comes from within, I believe it. Beth x Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking" Marcus Aurelius Antoninus  The people I work with are amazing. They are scientists, business leaders, sustainability experts and creatives and their knowledge, passion and dedication to change are unquestionable. But after working with over 50 organisations, I not longer believe we can simply think our way out of the problems we face. We have to connect with our feelings, lean into discomfort and learn from the powerful messages this brings. Many of us are rational thinkers, able to understand complex information and develop complex ideas to tackle seemingly impossible problems. For the most part, we live in our heads, and our work and culture demand it. But all this heady stuff comes at a cost. It takes us away from a part of being human – the ability to feel deeply and connect with the truth through physical feeling, rather than our heads. When we make friends with our feelings, we bring a new richness and honesty to life. There's a humility that comes with embracing feeling and vulnerability – a humility we need now more than ever. As a scientist, my journey to feel more deeply took time, courage and the support of some amazing people. This includes my great friend, Danny Shmulevitch, who teaches a different of connecting with life based on his experience growing up and working with indigenous cultures. This journey changed my life in ways I could not have predicted and today I feel fully alive because of it. There's no way of going of going back from here - and I wouldn't want to anyway. I'm here for all of it. Beth x Human beings have an innate ability to sense and connect with life but we've been conditioned to live in our heads, disconnected from our bodies and nature. This impacts many areas of our life - including our health, work and relationships."  I love science – it's intentional, process-driven and (ideally) unbiased. Science enables us to learn and experiment in ways that are rational, unemotional and can be explained and replicated. But it isn't everything. In his book, The Master and his Emissary, Dr Iain McGilchrist argues that the two hemispheres of the brain influence the human experience in very different ways. The left enables us to stand back and view the world through the lens of rationality and reason while the right drives connection to our own inner nature and to all other living things. Both sides of the brain are crucial, but the left has come to dominate in modern society which explains many of the challenges we face. This makes sense to me. As a scientist working in sustainability, my brain adapted to become skilled at processing information and giving it meaning. This became my dominant way of being and it served me well – to a point. A few years ago, I began to sense something was missing. I started to intentionally give space to another part of me – my creativity, intuition and ability to feel deeply. This summer, I spent three days in Scotland without a plan: just me, nature and openness to what life presented. I can’t explain in words what I experienced – the moment above does it better. I do believe in science, but I also believe there is a magic and mystery to life which cannot be understood or explained. Embracing this unknown makes me feel more alive and connected with the world. It also brings a humility which I think is vital if we are to access the imperfect nature of our humanity and overcome the challenges we face. Don't worry if you think I’ve gone all woo-woo on you. I also wrote a 100-page report on the state of global cybersecurity in the same month, so I must be ok.... Beth x The only certainty, it seems to me, is that those who believe they are certainly right are certainly wrong.” |